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So I Have Been Obsessed With This Song...what with all that has been happening. I mean I just randomly searched Mute Math --> You can also note that they have suddenly become my favourite band now at this current moment. I mean I know it a bit late but they are pretty amazing!
SO I DONT CARE what people think of this song... I like it.. It makes me feel calm.
Just listen, enjoy, let the music take you okay?
Thank You!

Its actually now TWO songs because I heard the other one on the bus this morning and was like in complete and utter love. My adoration for Mute Math rocketed today... if they could get a cent for everytime I played their songs they would be VERY VERY VERY rich by now... Thats how much I listen to them!


So like on Thursday I was in such a bad mood that by the time I wrote out my post I forgot to mention that the beloved army had come to visit us in school. It was AMAZING!!! God I love the army. It was great... we did a couple of teamwork building activities... saw some pictures of when they went to Iraq and got a tour of their outfits... It was great. We did a drill at the end of the day and it was the first time in ages that the whole year group was in unison.
The guys were great and it was a lovely change!!
I dont have anything more to say really... the situation with my friends aint getting any better but I can see now that other people care about me because they are all like very cautious of my boyfriend and they are like if you does anything to you I swear I will kill him with my bare hands... And I am telling you that is no empty threat.
More later...

"You Know I Could Use Somebody..."

So I havent been the world best friend recently.
Nor have I been the happiest person.
I have been so depressed/upset/whatever that everyone has noticed.
I am in a state, right, where I just am in a constant atmosphere of sadness and solitude and ugh!
I have upset two of my best friends... and I feel like shit.
I feel so physically and emotionally weak and I have the strength to do absolute jackshit.
1 month and 1 day till I leave school. I am counting down the days.
I am on the brink of tears and I think the fear of leaving is what made me react the way I did.
But they wont listen to me. Nothing I say will ever make this better and I feel LOST!
I feel abandoned. A sinking ship.
I go to school and go through 6 hours of shit. I have cried 4 times today. FOUR!
That is the most I have cried in a long time.  
I just wanna let it all out, yet when I do I feel ten times worse.
I dont know what to do, how to act, what to say.
I just want this nightmare to end and for me to wake up and for it all to be okay.
To go back in time to when it was okay.
I want to feel like a human and not some STUPID, PATHETIC GHOST floating around the place.
I want to feel like me again.


Continuation From Yesterday!!!

So as I promised you all, I come bearing more pictures! Didnt take loads today... just some random things I have and stuff but most are from yesterday when Me, Emz, Tacha and Iky stayed after school in the Art Dept.... Check out da rest!

  Tacha's work! The topic they have been given is I, Me, Mine... so not fair when I was stuck with Barriers! =(

 A watercolour paint tin... I told you I was feeling random!

 Emily as she was leaving... I was like POSE! and she pulled this face <-- hehe

 La Senza!!! The world best underwear store... Its just great... Expensive!!! But great!

 My bag, vintage blazer and my self-decorated folder that I used for like EVERYTHING! Its great cause it has a never ending supply of like paper and pens!!

 Our work table... where we was working. There you can see my tattered version of A Million  Little Pieces by James Frey that I am attached to and my iPod and colourful pens and people working... Well Iky and Tacha.

 Box o' buttons.

 School wall

 This up on the door that is ALWAYS closed... No one knows whats behind it.... o.O

 The fire hose if anything bad happens... Like a fire...

 Iky and Tacha!!!

Ill post more pictures tomorrow.... Im tired! =(

I cant be asked to say anything plus I was feeling pretty random today so I took pictures of random things!
Picture Time!!1Collapse )

Me and Emz were bored so we colour coded the box ----> COLOURFUL!!! so pretty! Tacha is sitting there doing her work after skwl!

Tachas clips are so pretty and PINK! I told you all I was feeling random!

Ikrams arm and her PINK watch!

Ikrams bag!!!


Paint set... I was in the art room!

More to come later!!!
<3 xxx


So today I had like THE BEST DAY EVER!!!
Met Tacha at like 12 outside Westfield which is this HUMUNGOUS mall with like everything. Went around the shops… tried on some ridiculous hats and scarves.. Took pictures but she has them so I need to get them off of her! Went into the Apple Store and took gaziliion pictures and laughed our heads of! Then I was got frustrated cause I couldn’t find the hash key on the Apple Mac and ended up walking away. We went into Topshop and brought a massive stack of sweet paper for like £1. Tried on some more ridiculous items of clothing. After that I went to go meet Luke today… That guy I talked about on my Valentines Day post. Anyways, me and Tacha left Westfield from the back and had to walk for ages… Then she was looking at me and she goes “Tash, your face, your expressions keeps changing every minute…keep yourself together”
So I was like, “How am I supposed to act?”
I hyperventilated as I walked… My nerves were so out of time and I felt like my gut was ugh! I cant even explain it. Then Tacha spots him and I’m like “Okay, lets go”
We walk up to him and I stand in front of him and say “Hi!”
He looks at me and he’s like =O and then he hugs me… and I hug him back and Tacha is standing there.. Like she don’t know what to do. So she waves. We ended up walking with him to the Market with him and back. There were awkward silences, like what to say, how to act sort of thing… Once the ball got rolling we were all talking and it was SO good. But then me and Tacha went cinema and he went tube station so we parted ways. He texted me and asked me out for next Saturday!
Me and Tacha watched Confessions of a Shopaholic… That film is amazing, especially the part when she dances with the fan. We nearly wet ourselves laughing. After the cinema I dropped Tacha half-way home and I was on such high I skipped the rest of the way home.
Hope everyone else had fun today!
Here is a picture. Tacha is on the left, I am on the right!


I feel like I am sitting on the side of the road.
Waiting for you to come and pick me up.
Just waiting for you to come.
To come back to me.
You told me you’d be there.
Wait for me, I will come,” you said.
And like the gullible person I am, I believed you.
I’m still waiting.
Hours on end.
I don’t think I feel bitter.
No that isn’t how I feel.
That’s what I feel.
That’s how I feel.
Why wouldn’t you come to me?
What have I done?

Valentines Day

So firstly I want to say Happy Valentines Day! Hope everyone is fine and everything is going well...
And well secondly I dont really have much to say... I was meant to be going out with the girls but we all cancelled last minute because of various reasons i.e. packing to go Roma with school, gotta go Dad's house, too cold and well to be honest really cant be asked to go out anyway... but that didnt mean my phone wasnt going of the hook this morning... The amount of lovely text messages and love, hugs and kisses I got this morning could sink the Titanic all over again, lol...
Anyways, like last week I met this guy called Luke.. and he is half Jamacian, half Portuguese, about 17 years old. We started talking, getting to know each other and we connected like crazy. We are like perfect for each other... it is madness how alike we are, and how much we like one another.. He is training to be a footballer and well I am just me really.  But we really like each other and we get on really well. I can say anything to him and know it all okay and I just feel so comfortable around him. And he feels the same...
Last night he was texting me to sleep and I know to some it may be a bit quick to be saying this but you gotta understand we are crazy about one another... He was like "you're my other half... like when I'm not speaking to you I am thinking about you constantly and when I do talk to you I feel such peace" and I was like "I feel the same way."
So this morning he texts me and it was so unbelievable sweet... I just cant believe someone like him exists, it crazy how perfect we are for one another, even he said it... Im in a state of flux right now...
Lol, peace x

It Does Exactly What It Says On The Tin

  With all of this I know now
Everything inside of my head
It all just goes to show how
Nothing I know changes me at all
Again I waited for this to change instead
To tear the world in two
Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

With all of this I feel now
Everything inside of my heart
It all just seems to be how
Nothing I feel pulls at me at all
Again I waited for this to pull apart
To break my time in two
Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all I'm always wanting
She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all I'm always wanting you
I'm always wanting you
I'm always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all I'm always wanting
She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all I'm always wanting you

And all again I wait for this
To fill a whole, to shake the sky in two
Another night with her
I'm always wanting you
Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you



I GOT IT...I finally after like how many weeks saw the guy I liked that I was telling you all about a while ago ( the one who I lost the number of!). See this is what happened I turned up like 10 minutes before class and me Ikram and Alex walk in to the school... He comes out of another door, looks at me and smiles so typical me smiles back and then we walk together to class talking and such so I just came out with it... I was like " Oh yea by the way I kinda lost your number so like can I have it again?" He was so sweet and was like yea, after class I'll wait for you... I was like okay... so like 2 hours later we walk out together, exchange numbers and a half an hour ago we were texting each other!!!! I am SO HAPPY!!  No one can upset me now... x